For the past few years, I've been thinking whether my life's going to the right direction or not. I've been raised in a third world country so my parents never failed to remind me everyday that I need to make sure that my future is secured. When I was young, I thought it was gonna be easy - go to school, get a job, and earn money.
As I grew up, I realised that I need to make certain choices to ensure that I won't disappoint my parents, and of course, myself. We moved to New Zealand, started a new life, and adjusted to a whole lot of changes. My perspectives and goals changed, my direction diverted, and those things overwhelmed me. I found myself questioning a lot of things, why I need to do this and that, why I can't make my own decisons, and so many other stuff.
For years, I felt completely lost. My "plan" has always been like this: finish high school, go to university, get a degree that would get me "great" jobs, and earn money. I never had any other alternative. There was a time when I told my parents that I wanted to learn photography because I could see myself traveling around the world and taking wonderful photos.. and guess what - they were horrified. They told me that there are no jobs for photographers and that photography is not even considered a degree. There was also a time when I told them that I might consider taking up Bachelors of Education because I've tutored several people in English and I really enjoyed it. Again, they quickly brainwashed me and told me that it was just a phase.
Right now, I'm taking Marketing and Information Systems. I can't say that I hate it, but I don't love it either. I still feel that I need to do something else. Perhaps a sideline or a new hobby. Last week, I bought a new camera and I decided that I will take an online photography course (and upon completion, I will get a diploma! isn't that exciting?) I've been practicing like crazy ever since I laid my hands on my lovely Canon 60D. I told myself that I will take great photos someday, and hang those pictures proudly on my wall. As for now, the photography course remains as a goal. I still need to save up for tuition fees. So I came up with another plan, I will open up a shop before the year ends and hopefully, people will support it!
More details about the shop will be posted next month. I'm so excited about this. Now that I finally know what I want, it's time to work really hard and enjoy the things that I love doing!
To sum it all up, I'm glad that I chose to stick up with my personal instincts and decisions. The moment I started following my heart rather than my head, I felt way happier. I don't know where this direction will lead me but for now, all I can say is I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!