Let me tell you about my good friend, Luiza.
I met her online (she used to live in windy Wellington but the good bitch decided that Auckland's way better so she moved here) but we were not really close so we never met up.
Here's the thing, Luiza ALWAYS bombards my Facebook wall with witty comments and funny posts. We have this weird humour that only the two of us understand and appreciate. We even share the same taste in men (actually, only Han Solo) and wet our panties every time we watch Star Wars (oops, TMI)
So anyway, my friend Jacob noticed her and was like "can you introduce me to your friend? She looks so hot!" I told Jacob that I haven't actually met her yet but I gave him Luiza's number anyway. After 1 week, they decided to meet up.
I was at my friend's house, taking photos of myself (hey i felt really pretty that day ok) when suddenly, some loud bitch screamed "HURRY UP SLUT!"
I could not believe it. Luiza was outside my friend's house, throwing her shoes at the window and screaming like a woman who just got anal-ed by a huge horse.
And the rest was history, we became really good friends.
I received this txt because I drunk txted her and wanted to make fun of me the next day... and she succeeded.
- She took me once to an adult store. The salesman was urging us to try on those kinky outfits but we were there for the dildos. I was hoping he would get the hint.
- We also went to this tattoo shop. She was supposed to ask for the procedure, rates, etc. but NO, she flirted with the goddamn attractive tattooist.
- She brought a lot of strangers during my 18th, and those strangers ate all the chicken.
- We bought knickers (same ones!!!) because there was a massive sale and at the end of the day, we swore that we will never date the same guys because WHAT IF THEY REALISE THAT WE HAVE THE SAME UNDERWEAR
This was our first meal together omg how special.
This was when she randomly went to my house and used my laptop. Do you know how many followers I gained that day.
She moved to the tundra about 10 months ago... but she made me a promise which I will never forget...