A letter to my future child.

No, I'm not pregnant.

But I'd like to pretend that I'm having a child real soon and that he/she will stalk my blog for hours (I'll make sure my child appreciates this little blog or I'll probably disown that little spawn of Satan)

Dear babycakes,

Right now, I am writing (well, typing) this letter for you instead of watching Grey's Anatomy so you better read it all the way. I assume that you found this letter just because you really love reading your mum's blog... and it shows that I raised you damn well. 

I hope that by the time you read this, I'm considered a MILF because that's my biggest goal ever since the day I found out what that word means. You are probably rolling your eyes right now but that's okay, I would have done the same thing if I read your grandma's open letter to me. I would have even banned her from using the internet ever again but let's not go there.

It's a given fact that every parent's number one wish for their child is for them to live a happy life; therefore, I am going to do my best to give that to you. I am nowhere near religious so I can't really talk to you about God, but I do believe in good karma and living a positive life. I will remind you everyday the difference between right and wrong, how to treat others, how to earn people's trust, and many other things that will help you become a better person. 

I will also make sure that you know how much I love you. If you're a girl who turns out to be attracted to other girls, that's totally fine! If you're a boy who would rather kiss and hold hands with a boy, that is okay with me too. It doesn't matter who and what you are, mum will always be there for you.

I cannot guarantee you a life full of colour and sunshine, there will always be bad days. Things will get tough as you grow older and you will feel lost along the way. But don't worry, every person who walked on this planet has experienced this. I'll tell you the bright side though, you will always have me, and that's one things you should always remember.

I can lecture you about keeping your legs closed or keeping your deadly snake inside your pants but I'll save that for later. 

Oh and don't worry, your birth certificate sure as hell isn't an apology letter from the condom factory.

PS: Feel free to surf my Instagram as well. You'll see a shit ton of your photos. You may hate me for doing that but hey, at least people called you cute???

Love always,
your mum (100% MILF)

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  1. Haha this is so cute, and if I were your child I'd be very lucky! (OK, that sounds wrong, but you know what I mean!)
    xoxo Appie | vintage150395.blogspot.com

  2. Haha MILF has been my secret goal too!
    Great open letter to you to be child :D

  3. I love this! I wanna be a milf too. and this line: (I'll make sure my child appreciates this little blog or I'll probably disown that little spawn of Satan) killsme. SO FUNNY!

  4. I seriously hope that your future child does get to read this! They are gonna love it! xxx

  5. Love this so much! You will definitely be the best milf going haha xxx


  6. How adorable! I just discovered your blog and it's truly wonderful. And you are such a talented artist as well.

  7. This is the cutest thing ever! I love it.

  8. That was way too much fun to read! Love it so much :) Definitely thinking all of the exact same things for my future child in like... 10 years! haha!


  9. Omg so cute! And MILF hahaha =)))

  10. Laughed a lot while reading this letter! :)

  11. Wondering how your future child would react upon reading this hahaha! Too cute! x

  12. Love your blog! I's so glad I have discovered it.

  13. Aw! Sweet!:) First time to read a letter for a future child.:') I love your blog! Book marked!!! <3

  14. sooo cutee! i really love this so funny yet very cute!